What kind of microscope should I get to perform Live Blood Analysis?

You shouldn’t. If you are looking to purchase a microscope that will be used to perform Live Blood Analysis (aka LBA, which is bogus, pseudoscientific crap used to sell dietary supplements and worthless treatments to the unsuspecting public), please find yourself an honest way to make a living.

The corollary to this of course is that if you are ever approached by someone wanting to show you your blood under a microscope for diagnostic or nutritional purposes, they are either a charlaton trying to hustle you or are terribly misguided. Live Blood Analysis is the modern equivalent to early 20th century patent medicine. Absolute Snake Oil.

Microscopic blood observations performed by legitimate medical practitioners will be done in a federal or state-certified medical lab or clinical setting and with few exceptions will be performed using either a hemocytometer slide, for cell counting, or using a dried, heat-fixed and stained (that is to say, dead) peripheral smear on a conventional glass slide. It will not be done in the provider’s office with the patient present and watching the blood cells dance around on a computer monitor, nor will it generally be performed using darkfield equipment.

There truly is no legitimate reason why your chiropractor or nutritionist should ever need to or want to put your blood under a microscope, or for that matter, for them to use a microscope in their practice at all. These people are in the same league as the Psychic Friend’s Network.

If you see a microscope on a table or desk in their office, other than as may be used for decoration, please go elsewhere for your healthcare needs. The only thing an LBA practitioner can tell by looking at live blood is that the person sitting on the opposite side of their desk and staring at the monitor in wide-eyed amazement is a bona-fide sucker. “Wow”, they think to themselves, “this microscope was a great investment. It’s making me a ton of money.”

I once fell for a request from a guy to repair a microscope, whom I thought was using it for his amateur microscopy hobby. I found out after performing the repair (at very low cost) that the guy was actually building a darkfield setup to do LBA for clients in his wholistic, anti-vaxxer, alternative-medicine, pseudoscientific clinic of deceit and quackery. Even now, he is out there using this Olympus microscope that I repaired to hustle money from his clients, and the knowledge that this is happening because of something I did eats away at my soul a little bit more every day.

My self-induced penance for falling for this was to become a card-carrying anti-LBA crusader for as many years as I have left on this earth. Maybe I can save as many people as I’ve damned. Perhaps that will be enough.

The unlicensed practitioners of Live Blood Analysis cannot find cancer, pre-cancer, inflammation, immune-system problems, Lyme disease, pH imbalances, vitamin deficiencies, viral infections, bacterial infections, fungal or yeast infections, toxins, dehydration, high cholesterol, organ failure, oxidative stress, or anything else for that matter. Please do not fall for this scam!